We the undersigned three Apes and a Wombat
Congratulations from Virginia Woolf
Virginia Woolf’s family and friends had a long-standing habit of giving each other animal names—Virginia was often “Ape” or “Billy,” her sister Vanessa was “Dolphin” or “Marmot,” and even T.S. Eliot was affectionately dubbed “Old Toad.” Leonard Woolf, meanwhile, became “Mongoose.” This playful tradition found its way into their letters, most entertainingly on this day in 1907, the day before Vanessa married the painter Clive Bell. Though “signed” by multiple creatures, the following letter was written entirely by Virginia.
6 February 1907
Address of Congratulation to our Mistress on her Approaching Marriage
Dear Mistress,
We the undersigned three Apes and a Wombat wish to make known to you our great grief and joy at the news that you intend to marry. We hear that you have found a new Red Ape [Clive Bell] of a kind not known before who is better than all other apes because he can both talk and marry you: from which we are debarred.
We have examined his fur and find it of fine quality, red and golden at the tips, with an undergrowth of soft down, excellent for winter. We find him clean, merry, and sagacious, a wasteful eater and fond of fossils. His teeth are sharp, and we advise that you keep him on Bones. His disposition is Affectionate.
We therefore commend your marriage, and testify that you will make an excellent Mistress for any Ape or Wombat whatsoever. You are very understanding of Apes, loving and wholesome, vigilant after fleas, and scourging of all Misdoing.
We have been your humble Beasts since we first left our Isles, which is before we can remember, and during that time we have wooed you and sung many songs of winter and summer and autumn in the hope that thus enchanted you would condescend one day to marry us. But as we no longer expect this honour we entreat that you keep us still for your lovers, should you have need of such, and in that capacity we promise to abide well content always adoring you now as before.
With Humble Obeisance to our Mistress
We sign ourselves,
Her devoted BeastsBilly
Bartholomew
Mungo
and
WOMBATThe Sixth day of February,
nineteen hundred and seven.
Year of our Lord.
Letter excerpted from Leave the Letters Till We’re Dead: The Letters of Virginia Woolf, Volume VI: 1936-1941. Originally published by The Hogarth Press.
You can see an image of the handwritten letter at the website of the New York Public Library.
Support Letters of Note…
So amusing! Good humor.
Then access to NYPL. Been but not through the “tour”
So nice to experience her family silliness and sense of humor, knowing some of the difficulties she lived with. Such a light spirit.