Mrs. Slob of 1961
An unimpressed reader writes to Chatelaine magazine
In 1960, Chatelaine magazine launched its first ‘Mrs. Chatelaine’ contest—an annual search for the ideal Canadian homemaker. Thousands of women entered, submitting glowing accounts of domestic triumphs, from jam-making and dress-sewing to spotless kitchens and tireless community work. But one reader, Beatrice Maitland of Chatham, New Brunswick, responded with the following letter to Chatelaine’s editor, Doris Anderson, mocking the contest’s impossible standards and nominating herself—with tongue firmly in cheek—for a very different title. To Maitland’s surprise, Anderson published it, and soon letters came flooding in from women across Canada—thankful for her honesty, delighted by her wit, and eager to nominate themselves for the title of “Mrs. Slob.”
1 November 1961
Dear Editor,
Yesterday was the closing date for your Mrs. Chatelaine contest, but I didn’t enter.
I wish someone, sometime, would have a competition for “Mrs. Nothing”! A person who isn’t a perfect housekeeper, a faultless mother, a charming hostess, a loving wife, or a servant of the community. Besides being glamorous as a model, talented as a Broadway star and virtuous as a Saint.
I have studied your questionnaire carefully but my replies are hopelessly inadequate. To start with my appearance is absolutely fatal. I am overweight, pear-shaped and bow legged. Consequently, not having much to work on I don’t bother and cover it up with comfortable, warm old slacks.
As for housework, failure there too as I am a lousy housekeeper. If I feel like sewing, or sleeping, or writing a letter, like this morning, the house has to wait.
Entertaining? Practically never. Hubby isn’t particularly socially minded so anything is impromptu with close friends. A game of cards or just talk with a few beers. No fancy food, drinks or entertainment.
Meals? We prefer plain meat-potato-vegetable meals with no frills. For birthdays our children choose the dinner. What’s the menu? Usually hamburgers and chips. You can’t win. Make a fancy meal from a magazine and they look like they are being poisoned.
The decor is middle English European junk shop, especially when the children start doing their homework.
Community activities? I have always belonged to and worked with other organizations—but I have become so sick of and bored with meetings I quit. Home-and-School meetings where people sit like stuffed apes and look at anyone who gets up to make a suggestion as if he were a Martian.
My philosophy as a home-maker? I guess that is: be happy, don’t worry. You do what you can with what you’ve got when you feel like it. Consequently I’m never sick and I’ve got no nerves or fears.
That is poor me. So if you want to run a contest for ‘Mrs. Slob of 1961’, I would be happy to apply and would probably win hands down. Thank you for your enjoyable magazine and my apologies for taking up your time.
Mrs. Beatrice Maitland
Excerpted from the excellent book, Canada: A Portrait in Letters, 1800-2000. Edited by Charlotte Gray. Published in 2003 by Doubleday Canada.
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St Beatrice the Slob will shortly have a shrine in my home. Whenever I get around to it.
I love this so much! She's a real human.